Overly Powerful Wishes

Jifo says I'm scary.

"I don't know babe, you have this ability to say something and then it becomes true," he told me the first time, peering up at me (I'm taller when we're sitting) with a mixture of awe and terror, the kind you would use to regard a witch right before you squeak out, "Don't smite me!"

(Before the Wiccans get into an uproar, I'm pro-Pagan! I use the word witch the way Sookie Stackhouse does. I probably just offended Wiccans all over again, for a different reason now.)

He's right. Selena has called it my strength to make a goal happen out of seemingly nothing. Even before hippie school I learned that people can manifest their own reality. And my friend the yoga instructor, who was bound for law school until she got cancer (she's fine now), told me if you wanted it hard enough, you too could get a life-altering event to occur, like the delivery of an injury light enough to recover from and bad enough so that a young gymnast no longer had to compete under her mother's crippling pressure (true story).

My car accident that led to my leaving Hollywood and going to graduate school to be a therapist, though not wished for by me, was something the Universe seemed to sense I needed, and the healing that occurred afterwards and the people I met have given meaning to that one awful moment and made it not awful in the long run.

Oh dear, it seems I've built up all that momentum just to announce:

I wanted to take a week off from grad school but didn't know how that was possible.

So now I'm sick.

Voila. My week off.

Jifo asked me in an email to stop wishing for bad things and I wholeheartedly believe him. You know it's bad when you catch yourself having a fantasy - twice - about getting very very mildly hit by a car during your break so you don't have to go back to class.

I think it's better that I just leave school instead, while I can still walk out of there on my own two healthy legs.

(Even writing that out is terrifying, but God I don't mean it! I'll quit on my own! Don't smite me!)

The poll closes today. And yes, I did vote, though I won't reveal my choice until it's officially done.

In the meantime, I'm going to continue hacking up pieces of...um, stuff.