Just For Today, Do Not Worry

Just for today, do not worry.
Just for today, do not anger.
Honor your parents, teachers, and elders.
Earn your living honestly.
Show gratitude to everything.

-Dr. Mikao Usui

stumbled from The Reiki Page

I Have, Have You?

A meme I've been saving since last November, obtained from Kristine Pratt.

Just copy the list (don't copy my commentary) and bold all the items you've done already. It'll either make you feel like a rock star or make you realize you need to get out more. If it's the latter, maybe you want to just title this "Bucket List."

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise (um, ever hear of college?)
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s nappy
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten tipsy on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse of both the sun and moon
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had/Have amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love (how fitting this should be number 52, eh?)
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving (only in a pool...but it was in Hawaii, does that count?)
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class (see Gay For! for my lesbromance story...)
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie (click here to read about my last one)
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted a river
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark (seriously, what Chinese hasn't)
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in a Rocky Horror Picture Show
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over (story of my life)
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept 30 hours in a 48 hour time frame
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi (is this meme for hicks from the middle of the country or something?)
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school (story of my life...again)
131. Parasailed
132. touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes (cooked by lesbians - add THAT to the mix!)
134. Read “The Iliad”
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life
151. Taken a ride in the Goodyear Blimp
152. Written a novel (how appropriate this should end on 152)

I Wanna Work For Nature!

BBC Nature, that is.

Jifo and I saw Earth at the El Capitan in Hollywood, which is a Disney theatre, so there were smiling people, an organist playing Disney tunes pre-show, and a live animal showcase that featured the cutest porcupine and a snow-white fox.

I was amazed by the footage: birds of paradise I never could have imagined. And you KNOW I was squealing and commenting at all the animals dying or getting hunted. (Did I just leak a spoiler? :P)

I was convinced I had to intern for Disney Nature during journalism school, but Jifo enlightened me to the fact that they bought most of the source material from BBC Nature.

To celebrate Earth Day (Week), here's photography from my friend Kien Lam. Check out more ridiculously great shots on his blog.

I'm really not sure how he makes his photos look like this, but as an aspiring photojournalist I'm in awe.

Overheard: Bacon, the Smell of Heaven

While making banana bacon cupcakes with peanut butter chocolate frosting (don't ask, SHE'S the professional cook)...

Peanut Butter: [sniffing]

Me: Watcha smelling?

Selena: He's gonna like the smell of bacon. I mean, who wouldn't like the smell of bacon? It's like hating the smell of heaven.

Part 2: I Danced With Desmond Richardson

In Part 1: How I Became A Dancer, I recounted how I went from injury-rehabbing dreamer to booking Julie Taymor's acclaimed film, Across the Universe. A year later, I finally complete the story:

I am indebted to So You Think You Can Dance for generating the desire in me to manifest my childhood dream of being a professional dancer. But the connection does not end here...

Will Wingfield Gets Compared

On July 9, 2008, Mia Michaels told Will Wingfield and the nation that he reminded her of Desmond Richardson. Will gave a breathless "Oh my god."

"That name sounds so familiar," I said to Selena.

A Google later, I saw this face.

photo courtesy of complexions dance

"Oh my god," I echoed Will, "I've worked with him!"

"Desmond."

The first day I showed up to rehearsal for Across the Universe, I remember an adorable black guy, very thin, very gay, who was working with the choreographers. He was hilarious, charming, and approachable.

It was hours into the rehearsal, or maybe even the next one, before the whispering began.

"He was a principal in the ABT," a male dancer said to another. I happened to be passing by.

"Who?" I asked.

"Desmond."

We gazed at him in awe, twittering (the actual verb, not the web application) about how humble he was, and how famous, and there he was, standing amongst us mortal dancers at rehearsal. And then we forgot all about it and went on with our jobs.


It is moments like that night last year, watching TV and realizing who I had been dancing with, that even if I have no riches to show for it, even if my father can never understand, even if I'm kind of a nobody right now, there were high points in my life that tell me, yes. I did make it.

Queer Nostalgia

I get a bout of nostalgia every so often, usually when the season changes, particularly the snap of fall and now, the rash of heat as Los Angeles seems to have skipped spring to hop straight onto the 90 degree train.

It's brought on because I'm lonely, because the NBA something or others are on and I have a boyfriend whose sense of masculinity is somehow tied to that and I just can't bear to keep him away from what he loves, even if I don't understand it and I'm a little lonely.

And then I'll hear a song with deliciously sappy lyrics and I'm suddenly transported back to a better time, when life was seriously exciting. New York City in 2005, usually. Lately it's been my runner up "best year of my life": my final year of college.

This particular episode had much to do with an email I just received, bearing photos of a recent lunch I had with my ex's mother (an old family friend) and, unexpectedly that day, my ex. Seeing the photos was like a warped glimpse into a parallel future: is this how we would look if we were together today? Her with spiky hair, regulation butch black T-shirt, and a few wrinkles around the corners of the eyes; me a little fatter, with long hair now, femmey as ever. It's a picture of what I would look like as half of a cute lesbian couple again.

Unfortunately, I'm not as trendy anymore. :P

(Full circle: In one of my plays, the butch character based off my ex-girlfriend has a conflict with my character over watching the play-offs [I had to google NBA for the term at the time]. "Why don't you tape it?" my character says. "It's not the same!" the girlfriend replies.)

Asian Twilight

At last!

No, not the Filipino boy band Ming Na tried to get off the ground. Muuuch better: Filipino-looking kids in a 1-minute Twilight!

(I think they're actually JA and ABC's from Hawaii.)

The car sequence is terrific. You stop that micro machine, Edward!

About Me

This is a long overdue update to the About section...

I am a former playwright and film and TV actor (and one time pro dancer), who is now a novelist headed for that started journalism school in the fall. I'm a New Yorker who spends a lot of time in Los Angeles (particularly the winters).

Peanut Butter is my canine "child" that my boyfriend and I are fostering for a rescue group. I love "pibbles"! PB has a home now, but Jifo and I are still foster parents!

52 Faces began as a spiritual exploration. Its name originates from my search for a face of the divine each week of 2008. Halfway through, I realized it was an exploration of my own faces.

It has since evolved into a personal blog, as my forays into SEO and Adsense don't seem to be raking in the dough that those annoying mega bloggers swear they receive in weekly checks.

To learn more about me, read The 100 52 Things List.

To offer me a publishing contract, read about my novel.

Follow me on Twitter

Burger Grease Art

Happy Tax Day! ::rushing to get her state taxes in::

Here's some disgusting and awesome art (which may be all we can afford to eat after Jifo does his taxes...)



Picked up from Design We Hate, via Twitter.

Dealt with Distemper (and My Video Debut)

Our beloved Peanut Butter has been diagnosed with distemper, a highly contagious and deadly canine disease.

I found out while I was in NY, but was too stricken to go public about it. I first came clean on the Pit Bull Positive ring, then as I saw more inspirational videos on YouTube and message board posts about dogs who have survived, I've made my peace.

Because he is a "grown-up" (though he acts like a baby), Peanut Butter has a strong chance of survival and I absolutely believe he will. My instinct is that the high death toll of distemper is partially due to owners giving up hope. We WILL beat the odds.

PB gave me a scare today when he appeared to start twitching while lying across my leg (his favorite, albeit painful to me, activity). I burst into tears. But as soon as I set him down he was still again, so it may have been just a nerve.

Please, I beg you, vaccinate your dogs. Even if you're one of those lowlifes who are breeding them to fight - vaccinate them so they don't spread the disease to other dogs. It's so easy and so effective.

And here we are taking a break from laundry this afternoon. This is also the first time I'm appearing on video!

J-School, Shin Splints, and No Sleep

I just finished my week in NY checking out the two graduate schools I'm deciding between.

As usual, I had the best, increasingly sleep-deprived time. Daily highlights:

Monday
-Free lunch with the private university I'm considering. That's the least they could do since they offered me no money. They also offered a travel stipend for this weekend then took the offer away. We'll call them P.U.
-L.S. introduces me to a hyper-chi-chi Japanese teahouse.

Tuesday
-Tried out the vegan restaurant near my apartment and chatted with two friendly old Jewish ladies (typical for the 'hood).
-I finally have dinner with a friend who I've unsuccessfully tried to meet with for the last year.
-Meet a new friend who's obsessed with the show Fringe. Make that, the lab cow on Fringe.

Wednesday
-Sit in on a class at P.U.
-Dinner with my youngest "brother" and his friends from Vegas. KOHrean. Our half-Korean giantess friend freaks out our KOHrean waitress by speaking in KOHHHHrean.

Thursday
-Meet with the dean of the public school that gave me plenty of money. We'll call them Go.U.
-Sit in on the live broadcast class at P.U. Some drama and major glitches. Professor was kool.
-L.S. introduces me to this neo-fusion Thai place on St. Mark's. These NY friends are just a treasure trove of new food places for me.

Friday
-Tour of the broadcast suite at Go.U. and meet with...well, a ton of people. Most convinced me I'd be happy there, one of the people (no naming names or occupation) rubbed me the wrong way. Can't win 'em all.
-Yay! One of my favorite gal pals had the day off and we cut out in the afternoon to eat Chinese food Korean style and sing karaoke. Decadent.
-Bought two new books at Borders for my train and plane home:



-Met up with youngest brother and his pals again to catch a Neo Futurists "play."

Saturday
-Flew back on a crappier business class but got to hang out and eat free lunch in the business lounge at JFK. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
-JFK forgot to put my luggage on my (already delayed) flight. Unsweet. We got it later.
-My son is not emaciated anymore!

Throughout it all, my arches fell as I discovered that my comfy and cute yellow trainers from Amsterdam aren't actually that supportive, and that my rubber rain boots (that Miranda Richardson also has, as I discovered on set a few years ago) had a hole in them and were no longer waterproof. Thank gawd for Kmart replacement socks.

I can't believe I used "neo" twice in once post.

Watch An Avalanche Rescue Dog "Find" Glenn Close

Glenn Close and her husband are buried under the snow as an avalanche simulation to demonstrate a rescue dog in action at Sundance.

I can't tell you how proud I was when this rescue dog turned to face the camera and I saw that he was a pit bull type breed!

Five Ways to a Happy Sunday

1) I held my canine baby one last time.

2) I took my second business class flight EVER, LAX --> JFK, on Delta. Now spoiled forever.

3) Met RuPaul! Girlfriend carries his own luggage and was very gracious as I fawned over him. He's super elegant and about ten feet tall. Wearing cute French stripe shirt, blazer, tapered slacks and uber pointy black shoes, with a cute cabbie hat to top it all off. You better work!

4) Miss my human baby - we just celebrated our 3+3+1 month anniversary and ever since fostering a dog together, I've felt more married than ever. (And so "grown up!" lol)

5) Home in NYC! Already lining up friends to have dinner with this week - I'm so happy to see them and be my outgoing New York self again :).

I am having one of those moments where I am utterly content and happy about my life. I love that I have a home in SoCal, with a "husband" and dog to come back to, and I love that I can always touch down in NY and remember that I do have a place where I feel like myself and that I belong, with friends who are reliable and good people.

Tell Me Thursday: Mom Stop It

What a great idea! Chele and Annette got tired of seeing all the great Wordless Wednesday photos and wanted to know the stories behind them - so they started Tell Me Thursday.

Mom Stop It: Our Rescue Story

Jifo (the bf) and I got Peanut Butter (real name) from Much Love Animal Rescue, for whom we are foster parents. He's from the South LA Animal Shelter - South Central as in Snoop Dogg, Compton, Dr. Dre, and other iconic rap stars and places. The rescue group isn't sure whether he was an owner-surrender or a stray.

When choosing who to foster, we viewed four dogs - Peanut Butter, Jelly, Banana, and Wheatie, all of whom you can see on the Much Love website under Available Dogs. Much Love recommended Jelly to us, from photos and descriptions alone terrier-favorer I was partial to Wheatie, and Jifo, being the Corgi/Doxie lover, wanted Banana.

After our visits over two days, we were unanimous: Peanut Butter has the best personality.

Docile and chill (though probably due to kennel cough, giardia, and a respiratory infection), Peanut Butter has been a dreamboat - barkless, crate-trained, doesn't chew, and, so far, housebroken. He's clingy, given to following Mommy around when she disappears out of his sight, and if you sit down on the ground, he'll curl up on your lap as if he isn't 40+ pounds.

He's scared of nearly everything outside, including small dogs. Nobody seems to have told him he's an American Pit Bull Terrier.

Because he's so sick right now, Peanut Butter naps a great deal, and Mommy can - and has - spend hours watching him sleep. And taking pictures of him. And videotaping him. Which always seems to wake him. That's the story!

And now...Peanut Butter watches Mommy watching him.

Wordless Wednesday: Mom Stop It

Watch me interrupt his nap some more...

You've Been Panda'd

Google's outdone themselves this time with their April Fool's prank page.

CADIE is the artificial intelligence behind gmail's "autopilot" (sometimes I think people really are using autopilot to type...)

She's "broken free" and set up her own second-generation website, replete with repeated graphics wallpaper, MIDI soundtrack and LOLz speak. And yes, she even has a YouTube channel. By the time I "followed" her blog, I was one of 6,911 fans, with the count growing by a thousand every 15 minutes.

An unfortunate side effect is that Selena is obsessively addicted to CADIE's song, a catchy trance melody atop a teeth-grittingly annoying tuba bass. Needless to say, my teenage "son" hated it, giving a big, snuffly sigh when the music muzak started.

This is the most extensive joke I've seen on gmail yet - good job, guys.