A recent poll conducted by psychotic think tank 52 Faces indicates that 7 out of 23 respondents believe a free masters degree is too good to give up in this economy.
Strangers and stalkers alike weighed in on the heated debate of whether the blogtress should quit journalism school and, more decisively, when.
"I haven’t had this much interest in an election since 2008," said a self-proclaimed progressive, after voting rather conservatively.
"I don't know you and you don't know me, but I'm all about giving horrible advice to complete strangers," a commenter posted, before unfurling a 5-paragraph manifesto that ended with the wise reminder:
"If none of that matters, think about the shit getting beat out of you by your Chinese parents. I'm Chinese, I know."
So many of us, unfortunately, know.
Poll Analysis
Here are the actual results:
Note: the screenshots were captured using two photos due to formatting limitationsNearly a third of those polled questioned the blogger's mental health for looking a gift masters in the mouth. It is trailed closely by a tie between leaving immediately or finishing out the semester before departing.
The poll displayed surprising fluctuations during its 9 days. Leaving immediately was an underdog throughout the race, only to surge ahead in the last two days, during the poll's extension.
The race was riddled with controversy, as friends close to the think tank were suspected of
ballot stuffing and vote recruitment.
The blogger herself
fell ill on the campaign trail and in her delirium, decided to vote in her own poll.
A Clear Winner?
Not by far, experts say. "The results just show that there is no clear answer. There's a good argument for every choice," said Jifo, consultant to the think tank, whose real name, apparently, seems as much a nickname as "Jifo". His camp neither confirmed nor denied allegations of a romantic involvement with the blogger.
Although one option garnered more votes than any other single choice, three out of the four options were about quitting.
That means 70% of the voters were for leaving j-school.
Given the extended length of the poll, some argued that the 2-week answer choice was moot. "All those people who voted for 'wait 2 weeks' should roll over their votes to 'leave immediately'," said Selena, a voter's rights activist, over a batch of quince apple butter. She then indignantly denied accusations of manipulating the vote, shaking her wood roller in protest.
Election officials are in a locked-door meeting to determine the final result of the poll.
"I'm confident that a clear answer will emerge within the next week," said one official, who spoke on condition of anonymity and denied being the blogger.
Until then, 52 Faces will continue publishing phony articles that show off her new skills learned in a graduate program she might leave.
Wanna see something cool?
