Help, I'm 30

I started my first day as a thirty-year-old crying all night and flipping out.

"Is this what it's like to be 30?" I asked my boyfriend, who's at a nice, symmetrical 33.

After some sleep, I felt slightly better, although I still woke up horrified to be 30.

Some women are noble, even graceful about it; many are nonchalant. I'm none of that.

I'm a kicker. A screamer. I had to be dragged, bloody fingernails dug in to the last shreds of the roaring twenties, across the "Adulthood" line.

Granted, I was crying because of some recent drama brought into my personal life (betrayal, deception, mourning - it's like a telenovella). But I returned to my honesty roots and confronted these issues. Okay, maybe I can kind of be an adult.

Just now I discovered 30 things before 30 (don't fault me - I stayed away from all things related to age 30 as if they would give me an STD) and I've decided to do my own

30 Things After 30

Partake!

Send me your suggestions of 30 things I need to do as a newborn 30-year-old. Hints, tips, and anecdotes also greatly appreciated. For instance, will I be thirsty and need to drink blood immediately? Sorry, had to get an Eclipse reference in there.

Will my ass instantly sag into saddlebags, never to rise again? Will I have crow's feet tomorrow, despite my terrific Chinese skin? Will men instantly cease to find me attractive?

Help out this terrified 30-year-old who will no longer post photos of her aging self.

(Self-deprecation seems to get better with age, however...)