Thursday, March 17, 2011

Across the Board Loss

Dude, I am coming out of a sh*teous week.

I asked Jifo today if it was normal to have such a bad life. Then I read a post from my oldest blog friend who is also feeling down. And another from one of my favorite authors who was in a funk.

All of our foul moods and feelings of loss seemed to have started right before or during the earthquake and tsunami in Japan.

I'm convinced now that the potential energy of the plates shifting in our earth agitated us on a deeply felt but barely conscious level. It contributed to strife from our enemies (my b*tch of an ex boss sent a harassing letter to me from a lawyer because she's a paranoid narcissist), it fed the unrest in our hearts, and it squirreled us away from any support system. And like that, I'm back on muscle relaxants/sleeping pills.

Now that the initial chaos has subsided, I'm hoping the dissipating kinetic energy will release whatever pressure has gotten us all into our stormy season.

I learned difficult things during this time. One, that honesty is a bad trait. Two, people don't really want to hear about your problems.

It's not like I shut myself away. I tentatively reached out during this horrible week and I was met with a polite glossing over. Everyone only wants to talk about lighthearted things, tell funny stories, share a laugh. I admit that helps. But what helps more is knowing people want to hear it. The hard and difficult 'it's.

I want to hear it. It helps me, selfishly, because it lets me know that yes, it is normal to have problem after problem. There is no such thing as stability. The Buddhists always knew.

Weather on, fellow sufferers.

4 comments:

Pat Hatt said...

I suffer from to much work
As I don't have time to lurk
Oh wait then what am I doing now?
Don't ask questions like how
But yes it has been an interesting week for the cat
As well as the guy named Pat
So I'm with you there
People should stay the heck out of my hair

Slow Panic said...

oh yeah, i can relate.

i love what you said about the energy. i'm actually going to take pranic healing training this summer. i've been seeing a pranic healer and it has made a huge difference for me. haven't had the guts to blog about it yet. but i want to take all five levels.

hugs to you. hope you are feeling better. i'm glad you posted this.

rly said...

I hear you.

Hope you feel better soon

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~Deirdra